


She's a Jolly Good Fellow.

by the_foxiest_box



Category: Homestuck
Genre: December 4th, F/M, birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 18:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_foxiest_box/pseuds/the_foxiest_box
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose suspects that John is trying to throw her a surprise party, but the joke's on her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She's a Jolly Good Fellow.

**Author's Note:**

> So I put this up on tumblr a while back, and even there it was late.
> 
> It was nearly finished in time for December 4th, but the same night someone rather important to me died. So yeah. Shit happens. It's here now. I just need a bit to recover. :)

"Afternoon, Miss Lalonde!" The false mustache covering his mouth muffles his voice.

"Good afternoon, John." You're not falling for such a foolish disguise. Besides, how many lanky boys with bright blue eyes were there around here?

"... John? Why, no! My name is Mr. Wiener!" John's got his hands placed politely behind his back.

"John, enough with the tricks. This is the third time this week." You reach for his disguise to pull it off his face, but your wrist is seized just as you grasp the fake plastic nose.

"Please refrain from touching my nose!" He yanks your hand away from his face. "I have very serious allergies, miss!"

"Of course, of course. Forgive me." You roll your eyes, "What have you come to inquire about this time, Mr. Penis?"

"It's Wiener. Ahem! I have come to cordially inquire about what kind of cake you'd like for your birthday!"

He had been asking the same sort of questions for three days now. What would you like for your birthday, Miss Lalonde? When are you available on the 3rd of December, Miss Lalonde? What sort of food do you fancy, Miss Lalonde? You're surprised he even had the time to visit today seeing as today is your brother's birthday, and John, being John, would most likely be pulling some over-the-top birthday shenanigans for his friend.

"Chocolate would be lovely, kind sir." Chocolate has always been a rather secret favorite of yours.

"Got it! The blue-eyed boy would like to make you a cake for no reason in particular!" The blue-eyed boy nods his head before you.

"How kind of him to think of me for my birthday." You smile and begin to close the door on "Mr. Wiener".

"Your birthday? When's that?" Oh, brother. You wave him a swift good-bye, before closing the door.

You know what he's up to, and he's trying to be sneaky about it. Right now, you're nearly 100% sure he's planning some sort of surprise. He was going to have to do much better than that if he wanted to fool someone like you. You're not the kind of person to be fooled that easily; John should know that.

 

 

\-- tentacleTherepist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

TT: Happy birthday, Dave.  
TG: thanks rose  
TG: you too  
TT: Ah, yes. That's tomorrow isn't it?  
TG: woah dont get too excited now  
TT: Hahaha.  
TT: I couldn't tell at all, with all the awful hints John has been dropping for me.  
TG: oh man he's pretty exited about it isn't he  
TT: Quite frankly, yes.

\-- New message from ectoBiologist [EB] \--

EB: hey dave! don't forget to bring the you-know-what tomorrow at 5:00!  
TT:  
TT: John.  
TT: This is Rose.  
EB: oh! hi rose!  
EB: that was supposed to be for dave.  
TT: I could tell.   
TT: You're busted now.  
EB: i haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about, rose!

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

TG: rose  
TG: are you still there  
TT: Yes. John was messaging me.  
TT: I didn't know he was so bad at keeping secrets.  
TG: he only needs to wait 2 more hours now  
TG: till its your birthday i mean  
TT: I understand.  
TG: welp  
TG: gotta go  
TG: john needs me  
TT: For what, might I ask?  
TG: you wanna know?  
TG: well that's too bad  
TG: the shit we're talking about is top secret  
TT: Interesting.  
TG: later rose  
TT: I know what you two are up to.  
TT: It's not going to work.

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

Five o'clock tomorrow, huh? You'll be there to bust their asses. It makes so much sense to you now. They are trying to throw you a surprise party. They should know that you aren't really one for surprises. Not to mention, you're far too smart for them. Those two dweebs... You suppose it would be nice, however, and how sweet of John to do something like this for you. Now all you had to do was act surprised when you opened the door.

It's 10:02PM now. You suppose you should get some rest.

 

Your name is ROSE LALONDE, and you are EIGHTEEN years old today. Though it was eighteen years ago you arrived to the world in the most unlikely way possible, it is only today that you are… not feeling any DIFFERENT than you did YESTERDAY. You suppose it doesn't really matter; age is but a number right? You do not feel any older as you step out of bed to clear birthday messages from your pesterchum. You stopped feeling excited about your birthday a long time ago. Your mother always told you in your youth that you would soon come to regret your birthdays, as it only meant aging.

Ah. Jade has pestered you already. No messages from the boys, though.

\-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] \--

GG: happy birthday rose!!! <3  
TT: Good morning, Jade.  
TT: Thank you.  
GG: do you feel eighteen?  
TT: No.  
GG: i guess thats normal.  
GG: not many people find that they do.  
TT: You're up early.  
GG: of course! it's your birthday!  
GG: i know i usually sleep a lot... :B  
GG: but that doesn't mean i can't get up early!  
TT: I know.  
TT: I suppose this is the part where I thank you, hm?  
GG: geez, rose! you sure don't sound excited!  
TT: I am not.  
TT: I find my birthday rather annoying, actually.  
GG: roooose. :(  
TT: I'd rather people not make a fuss over me.  
GG: but you deserve it!  
GG: john's trying really hard to make this a good one for you!  
GG: wait! :o  
GG: pretend you didn't hear that!  
TT: I'm afraid John has already blown that part.  
TT: He's not very good at keeping that sort of info to himself, I've found.  
GG: on a completely unrelated topic, are you going to be home tonight at 5?  
TT: Yes.  
TT: John's already asked about a half a million times.  
TT: I suspect I'll be seeing him then.  
TT: Thanks again, Jade.  
GG: no problem at all!  
GG: later!  
  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] \--  
  
You're pretty surprised when two hours pass without another hint being carelessly dropped. You must say, they seem a little too careless. At this time, you've been out on a walk for thirty minutes; you figure they might need time to set up... You have not been working on your surprised face, you realize. With someone as determined as John, it will be best to feign surprise.  
  
Chilly December air does not help you contort your cranial muscles into a good surprised face. Damn weather. You'd much rather have been born in the summer. It's too cold to be turning eighteen. As you look around you, you begin to notice the odd looks you're receiving from bystanders. Oh, that's right. Your face is still in a surprised fixation. ... Good job, Rose. You grumble and rub your temples, trying to relieve the strain you'd just been keeping in them.  
  
Upon reaching the steps of your house, you begin to feel rather excited. Yes, excited. You don't recall the last time you were ever even the slightest bit excited. You should probably thank John for this later. You also need to master a perfect surprised face in the next two seconds because...  
  
... You've opened the door.  
  
"I'm home!" You shout around the house, more as an alert to the party than to your mother, as she probably was not worried about you.  
  
"Hi, Rose!" You're actually surprised to see John sitting in the living room-- all alone.  
  
You blink, "John?"  
  
"Your Mom wanted my Dad over." He shrugs, standing up. He's gotten rather tall over the years, but still the same exact lanky kid you've always known.  
  
"I see." You take off your coat, knowing you can't let your guard down yet; he's probably being sneaky, "Is... anyone else here?"  
  
"Nah, I think Dave and Jade doing something downtown..." John scratches his head and you can see how casually dressed he is, "A movie or some shit!"  
  
"Interesting." You voice his heavy with monotone. Your head is darting every direction, searching for anyone else who could be hiding in her house.  
  
John leaned around, as if looking for what you were looking for, "You uh... looking for someone?"  
  
"Oh, no. I was looking for my mother..." You lie. You wish your other friends were here.  
  
"They went out!" John grins back to you, "I just wanted to stay here to wish you a happy birthday before I went back home."  
  
You nod. "I suppose I should thank you for that." You reach out and wrap him into a weak hug, "Thank you."  
  
He laughs a bit before stepping off to the foyer to get his coat, "You're very welcome."  
  
You're completely thrown of by his seriousness. You had thought it was a joke, but now you're growing more and more unsure by the second. So, there was no party? That's okay. You weren't much of a party person anyways... Still, you feel disappointed. It would have been nice. You give him a wave as he exits the house, and he's as cheery as ever as he nods you off.  
  
You heave out a great sigh as your fingers move up to rub your temples. How silly of you to think there was a party. Everyone seemed to be dropping the hints; you wonder how you could have been wrong as you lie on the couch. Now you wish you'd asked John to stay. He would have been glad to. He probably would have wanted to spend time with you, and today, he seemed to be the only one who did.  
  
Your stomach growls.  
  
You swear you smell a faint aroma of pizza. Perhaps your mother was decent enough to order food for her child before going out for once. You're up on your feet again in two seconds flat, heading off to the kitchen.  
  
You hope to god it's an extra che-  
  
What happens next causes you to scream and fall over in shock.  
  
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROSE!!" It takes a few seconds to come out of shock, but you realize all of your friends have just shouted to you.  
  
"Rose...?" Jade. She tiptoes over to you, probably making sure that you're alright.  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
The next thing you can hear is John laughing hysterically in the background. He's probably so proud that he was able to trick you. He's practically in tears by the time you march up to your brother to shove him. That dick; he was onto this too.  
  
"Hey, that's pretty rude." Dave grumbles, smirking slightly down at you. You wish you'd grown as tall as him.  
  
"You are all dead to me." But you're happy. You're thrilled that they went through all the trouble to surprise you. A genuine grin has grown on your face, and you must say, it sure has been a while since it was there.  
  
"You totally fell for it!!" John is now rubbing his eyes under his glasses, still gloating about his prank, "You totally thought we would be there right when you got home...!"  
  
"You've done well, John." You fold your arms around your chest and approach him; you know how you can get him back, "I underestimated you."  
  
"Don't you ever forget it! I am the pranking MASTER!" He punches the air, still hopping around like a little kid.  
  
He seats himself down at the kitchen island, lifting a lid up to reveal a rather poorly made chocolate cake.  
  
"John, you made cake?" You raise your eyebrows in disbelief.  
  
"Oh man, you should have seen him." Dave laughs to himself at your left, "He was so traumatized, I hope the little guy'll recover."  
  
John rolls his eyes, his amusement quickly leaving, "You should probably thank me! I mean..."  
  
"I understand you probably won't eat any of it, yes." You nod understandingly.  
  
"John worked really hard to surprise you like this." You see Jade grinning from ear to ear now.  
  
"Oh, shoosh. I worked just as hard to surprise you two..." John frowns at his sister.  
  
"Sure, you totally planned them out for like a whole fuckin’ month.” Dave teases him a bit.  
  
“I don’t think I like what you’re implying!” John scoots his seat further away.  
  
You know very well what your brother is implying, “I still have to thank you, don’t I?”  
  
“Wha-?” John fails to finish his sentence because you have just kissed him.  
  
He squirms just slightly at first, seemingly in complete shock. However when you pull away, he’s frozen. The poor boy is completely red in the ears and is leaning back way to far over… In fact, if he leans back anymore he’ll-  
  
… fall over.  
  
He falls back off of the stool and onto the floor with a thud. Your hand flies to your mouth in shock, as you had not expected him to react this dramatically. Jade is covering her face laughing pretty hard at this point, while your brother tries his best not to do the same, failing hopelessly. It must be quite entertaining to watch your sister cause your best bro to fall down by kissing him. John just lies there on the floor. His hands are over his face, but you can still see how red his ears are.  
  
“Are you going to get up, Mr. Wiener?” He gives you a rather pained look, and takes your extended hand.  
  
“Very funny, Ms. Lalonde.”  
  
You’ve won this round.


End file.
